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SONG 21 of the night. Four Greek blokes in kilts are can-canning around the stage, yelling: "Alcohol! Alcohol! Alcohol is free! Alcohol! Alcohol! Alcohol is free!" Looks like the ouzo's gone down a bit too well in Malmo Arena's green room complimentary bar.
But it did explain much of the certifiably brilliant madness that went before at the Eurovision Song Contest.
Roxy Mitchell emerged from a giant disco ball. Iceland defrosted Rick Wakeman. Hungary sent Badly Sung Boy. A castrated Romanian high-pitched his way through a song called It's My Life, a potential sanitary towel advert anthem.
And Bonnie Tyler, playing the UK's youth card, attempted...