The Semicolon

I don't like the semicolon.

I mean, what is it? Where did it come from? What does it do?

To begin with, it looks funny. Is it a period over a comma, or is it a comma under a period? It doesn't seem to know what it wants to be, so it ends up being nothing. And why is it called a semicolon? Why not semicomma or semiperiod? The prefix semi-means half. So a semicolon must be half a colon. But that doesn't make sense either since half a colon is a period, which we all know simply and decisively means stop. There's nothing namby-pamby about a period.

I never know what to do when...