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He says he isn't Mr. Nice Guy and that he isn't retro, but with all the voices and frivolity, who knows for sure? You'd never know it from the Wicked Game video, but pop star Chris Isaak is funny. No, he's seriously funny. In fact, Isaak, 43, best known for that famous romp in the sand with supermodel Helena Christiansen, could quit his day job as a pouty-lipped pop star and kick-start a career as a stand-up comedian. Calling from his parents' San Francisco home, Isaak cracks jokes, tells stories and lapses in and out of so many voices and accents, it's tough to get a straight answer. What's the weather like in San Fran? "I'm looking at the ocean right now," Isaak, an avid surfer, says. "As soon as we hang up, I'm going in." Isaak plays Wednesday at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater. He's been touring all year since releasing Speak of the Devil in late 1998. But Isaak, known for his Mr. Nice Guy personality, makes time to visit mom and dad. Is he close to them? "Yeah. I'm 30 feet away from my dad right now," Isaak jokes. One thing that lures the singer home is Mom's homemade ravioli. Homemade ravioli? Yep. Turns out the singer is half-Italian. "I know, I know," Isaak says. "People see me and think, 'He's blue- eyed, he's Richie Cunningham. But my mom's last name is Vignolo. She makes the best ravioli you ever tasted. Not like that Chef Boyardee stuff. That's all sugar and paste. My mom stuffs hers with eggs and spinach and calf brains." Calf brains? "Yeah. I know it's gross. I'd never think, 'Boy, I'm gonna eat me some calf brains!' But you try 'em and you're like, 'Man, gimme another plate of those!' " Isaak shares funny stories about his mom and dad. About the $18 wedding band his father bought when the two were married. About his mother's Italian background meshing haphazardly with his dad's German background. How long have Isaak's parents been together? Isaak (yelling): "Dad! Dad! How long you and mom been together?" Dad (from far away, also yelling): "Forty-eight years." Isaak whispers into the phone, "48 years, 10 months, two weeks . . ." Isaak's tunes often lament the loss of love. His 1995 album, Forever Blue, chronicled a painful breakup. Is he in a relationship right now? Isaak, in a perfect Bill Clinton imitation, replies, "Can you define right now?" No, as it turns out, he is not involved with anyone. Touring doesn't allow the time. It also prevents him from keeping pets. That and a court order, Isaak jokes. Isaak's voice is a throwback to the 1950s crooning of Elvis and Roy Orbison. He's got matinee idol good looks. He even dresses in '50s duds. But don't try to pin that retro label on him. "I like new stuff, too," Isaak insists. "I don't just listen to oldies stations." Okay, what's in his CD player? Louis Prima. Dean Martin. "And Beck!" Isaak discovers happily. "See!" What kind of car does he drive? Isaak sighs. "It's a 1964 Chevy," he says. "But it's not a collector's item. It was cheap. I bought it 10 years ago for $1,200." Any tattoos? "No tattoos," Isaak says. "I have to do a lot of work as a spy." Isaak used to box in college, competing on a semipro level. He doesn't hit the bag as often these days. "I've been surfing so much. I don't have time." Is Isaak the toughest boxing singer out there? "No. I'm not the fighting type." Well, if he were the fighting type, what pop stars could he beat up? "None of them." The Backstreet Boys? "No." Courtney Love? "No!" The Artist Formerly Known As Prince? Isaak laughs. "Prince would whip my a-," he says. "I'd be screaming (high- pitched, girly voice), 'Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! No, no - not the face!' " What's with all the voices? "You like 'em?" Isaak asks. "I just did Othello in the kitchen. My neighbor said I was quite good." Actually, acting is another of Isaak's talents. He has dabbled in Hollywood, appearing in Silence of the Lambs, Married to the Mob, That Thing You Do and other films. Isaak claims the Mr. Nice Guy shtick is all an act, too. "I'm surly," Isaak says. "A curmudgeon. I'm bitter. I have something nasty to say about everyone." Prove it. List some bad habits. Isaak tries to come up with something. He says he doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke. And "I've never tried marijuana in my life." Candy bars? "I haven't bought a candy bar in years." He used to eat Power Bars. He would put them in his wet suit when he surfed. But they stopped making his favorite flavor. Which was? "Loam." Isn't that mud? Isaak giggles. So, no bad habits? "You have to read all about those in the Star, baby," Isaak says with tough guy bravado. Then he suggests