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Are you ready for the battle of blonds, the melee of mullets, the scrum of, well, whatever the heck is on George Jones' head? This year's all-star music lineup at the Florida Strawberry Festival is all about highflying, highlighted, highly priced hair. - Per usual, organizers of the Strawberry Fest, which begins today and runs through March 8, have proved crafty at luring the biggest country acts to Plant City. -But more than that, they inadvertently themed this year's entertainment: Only super 'dos allowed! For instance, by the time the fruit-based extravaganza is finished, no less than seven overtly blond bombshells will have entertained the hundreds of thousands descending upon good ol' Plant City. -The buzziest blond? On March 8, Jessica Simpson will close the fest. At the same time, coincidentally enough, another blond will be in Tampa: Britney Spears, at the St. Pete Times Forum. Fight! Fight! Fight! -But forget about Brit-Brit for now. We liked her better when she was bald anyway. We're talking the Strawberry Festival, where it's all about rocking your mullet or riding your swoop or . . . seriously, what IS going on with George Jones' high heap o' hair? -Herewith, your well-coiffed musical lineup:
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The blonds
Kellie Pickler (Friday): A long time ago, when I was young and mean and didn't chew my food properly, I used to call her "Huckleberry Blond." Ha! Ha! But a funny thing happened on the way to Snarkville: I realized I was WRONG. Pickler turned out to be one of the better American Idol alums. Her songs are country-cute, but they're catchy, too. Forgive me?
Taylor Swift (Sunday): Swift, 19, is the hottest thing in popular music. It's not even close. Her 2008 album Fearless was the biggest seller of last year - and the top seller in 2009, too. Current hits White Horse and Love Story have crazy-huge download numbers. Reserve seats sold out in a hurry, but check the note above: You still might have a shot at seeing her.
Brenda Lee (Wednesday):I'm sorry, so sorry, that I was such a fooooool . . . The Strawberry Fest always makes sure to respect its legends, and Brenda Lee is certainly one of those. Her show is...