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BOOK REVIEW WHAT IS MARRIAGE FOR? The Strange Social History of Our Most Intimate Institution, by E.J. Graff. Beacon, 303 pp., $25.
E.J. GRAFF, the author of "What Is Marriage For?," has been happily married for nearly a decade. Following a script familiar to us all, Graff met Madeline, they fell in love and exchanged rings and vows surrounded by their friends and relations. Very traditional. Or not: Graff is a woman, as is her spouse, and their marriage is not recognized by state or religion. "What Is Marriage For?" is a polemic arguing that same-sex marriages should be honored, using the social history of this intimate institution to explain why her marriage is every bit as "natural" as any of the countless odd arrangements that have defined marriage over the years.
Graff's thesis is simple: The answer to "What Is marriage for?" depends largely on when and to whom you ask the question. "Marriage and the family have been in violent flux throughout history," she explains, "the rules constantly shifting for each culture and class, each era and economy." Today, in the West at least, most people marry for love. In the not-too-distant past this sentiment would have seemed decidedly unnatural. It is common knowledge that the aristocracy once married to consolidate land holdings and cement alliances, but even further down the social scale marriage was an affair of the wallet. Husband and wife, Graff argues, were business partners....